Posts Tagged confidence

Dealing with a Bully at Work? Four Tips to Take Back the Power

bullyHave you ever been bullied? Have you supervised a team that included a bully? Though they sometimes go by other names, I have known my share of bullies and have struggled to deal with them at different times in my life. It doesn’t really matter if the bully is part of a little league soft ball team, a fellow student or a boss or co-worker. If you have a bully on your hands they probably will not just go away.

Repeated encounters with a bully can leave one feeling powerless, frustrated, and exhausted. At work, the consequences of dealing with a bully can include stolen credit for effort and ideas, loss of passion for the work or even a job. Government employees face an additional challenge because when someone does not fit into a team there are often limited alternatives.  No one likes to deal with a bully and while it is challenging, it is necessary to find a way to start a conversation and build a positive relationship.

The bully may be the aggressor but the target of a bully does have the power to make some changes:

  1. Draw up some solid boundaries to protect yourself. – We surround ourselves with family and friends who understand us best. We show them the closest version of our true self because we trust them. This is your inner circle and you should let them know you are struggling. Be honest and be sure they know that you may need a sympathetic ear but you should not expect them to solve your problem for you. You should rely on them to offer moral support. Ask them to remind you of your talents; build your confidence and you can wear it like armor.
  2. Recognize and own your feelings. – We each live in a reality that is uniquely ours. A combination of personality, past experience, emotional intelligence and learned behaviors make up our feelings and how we deal with them. I think of feelings as the layer of colored glass through which we each see the world. If you can separate your feelings from the situation, working toward a solution will become much easier.
  3. Open a dialogue that does not include accusations. – Sometimes a person who is behaving like a bully may not realize how they are being perceived or how they impact you. Remember, you want to find a way to work with the person, not around them; you want to solve the problem. It may feel like a big risk but if you don’t take the first step nothing can change. Talk about what you want from the relationship and how you would like to make a positive change in order to move forward.
  4. Don’t wait. – Bad news only spoils with age. Approaching someone to address a strained relationship will not get easier over time either. If you are not prepared to speak directly to the bully, approach your supervisor and ask for help as soon as you realize there is a problem.

Some people do not grow out of bullying behavior as adults. If you are impacted by their behavior and don’t let them know it, they may never get the chance to change. Addressing the issue can be difficult but the reward for taking that chance could be the working environment you have always wanted.

How have you dealt with bullies at your agency?

, , , , , , ,

Leave a comment

A Situational Approach to Leadership in the Public Sector

Join The Ken Blanchard Companies for a complimentary webinar and online chat beginning today at 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time (12:00 noon Eastern).

Jim Atwood, Director of Blanchard Government Solutions will be discussing how taking a situational approach to leadership can enhance your ability to effectively manage and develop your people and how that process can increase competence, commitment, and retention of your most talented individuals.

This webinar is free and seats are still available if you would like to join over 800 people expected to participate. Immediately after the webinar, Jim will be answering follow-up questions here at How Gov Leads for about 30 minutes. To participate in the follow-up discussion, use these simple instructions.

Instructions for Participating in the Online Chat

  • Click on the LEAVE A COMMENT link below
  • Type in your question
  • Push SUBMIT COMMENT

It’s as easy as that! Jim will answer as many questions as possible in the order they are received. Be sure to press F5 to refresh your screen occasionally to see the latest responses. We hope you can join us later today for this special complimentary event courtesy of Cisco WebEx and The Ken Blanchard Companies.

View recording now!

, , ,

14 Comments

Did You Get Your One Minute Praise today?

Public Service Recognition Week (PSRW) kicks-off on May 1st.  It’s a time for agencies to honor employees for their hard work and dedication.  Agencies nationwide will be hosting events that include learning forums, award ceremonies, and town halls to celebrate government employees and raise awareness for the services they offer to the American people.

 The official PSRW website offers several ways to honor and celebrate your local public servant.

  •  Send a message to public servants you know.
  • Organize an event in your community.
  • Encourage local radio stations to play Public Service Announcements to honor federal employees

 In addition to the many events that are planned, individual agency managers can take on a significant role in recognizing the value of their employees by giving them a one minute praising. Praising is the most powerful activity a manager can do. It focuses on reinforcing behavior that increases an employee’s confidence and motivation and moves them closer to their goals.  A one minute praising is so easy to do.  Simply look around your agency and “catch people doing something right” and immediately give them a praising that is specific and that states your feelings.

 How is your agency supporting Public Service Recognition Week?

, , ,

Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: